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Posted by / 01-Mar-2020 05:29

Polite brush off dating

Aside from a few headscratching "I can't believe he didn't call after that great date" moments (the most frustrating thing in the world), I generally feel like it's clear when we've hit it off, when I've made it clear that I'm not interested, or when he's made it clear that he's just not that into me. How Having gone on a fair amount of first dates over the past year, I feel like I've finely honed my sense of whether or not the guy is into me at the end of the night. But since most guys are too polite or too afraid of being the bad guy to just come right out and say, "Thanks, this was nice but I don't see us hanging out again"--and I'm OK with an indirect method, I can't be that up front about it either--I have picked up on some subtler phrases that end up meaning the same thing.

Enough to make a crazy long flowchart on the topic, anyway. For instance:"It was very nice meeting you." AKA what you say at the end of a business meeting. This one isn't fatal on its own, as it is kind of a generic nice thing to say to a new person, but if it's not sandwiched by "I had a great time" and "When can we do this again?

Krupnick writes: Ending anything can be uncomfortable.

We know, sending a text as a revolutionary solution to ghosting is not exactly groundbreaking.

In fact, it’s even possible to say no to people and leave them thinking you’re a pretty swell guy.

If you’ve been having trouble saying no to people, we’ve provided some pointers on how to do it without coming off as a cad. Instead of making it seem like you’re saying no because you don’t like the person, think their cause is crazy, or their parties are boring, just let them know you’re simply “following the rules.” By this I mean that your pre-set personal rules prohibit you from saying yes.

This isn’t The Bachelor; this is real life, you might think. As Ellie Krupnick suggests at mic, all you need is one simple, formulaic text that will take you approximately three seconds out of your crazy hectic life to send.

I mean, you’re right about The Bachelor not being real life.

Feeling like you’re getting the brush off can be just as hurtful as hearing “no.” Show the person that you took the time to understand their request before turning it down. Web designers, barbers, and other creatives understand the frustration of having clients request something they know will simply not look good or turn out well.

Having gone on a fair amount of first dates over the past year, I feel like I've finely honed my sense of whether or not the guy is into me at the end of the night. But since most guys are too polite or too afraid of being the bad guy to just come right out and say, "Thanks, this was nice but I don't see us hanging out again"--and I'm OK with an indirect method, I can't be that up front about it either--I have picked up on some subtler phrases that end up meaning the same thing.

Enough to make a crazy long flowchart on the topic, anyway. For instance: "It was very nice meeting you." AKA what you say at the end of a business meeting.

He might as well have said, "Don't call me, I'll call you." Which he obviously would never have done."Good luck." No one said this to me at the end of a date, thank God, but a guy once said it at the end of an email breaking things off with me after a few weeks, and I'm still smarting about it.

Maybe he meant in in a nice way, but it felt a lot like he was mentally adding "…you'll need it." Rude. What do you say to guys if you know you're not interested in a second date?

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And yet somehow, so many of us still can't be bothered.

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