Effects of staying single vs dating
So sure, you’ve been single a long time, but you have to trust that you’ve stayed single because you know what you want in a romantic partner and aren’t willing to settle for anything less than you think you deserve, just as long as you aren’t picky to the point that you expect everyone you meet to be perfect.
Once you stop using that relationship muscle, do you lose it altogether?
Relationships teach us to co-exist with someone else, to learn how to work together with someone and create a partnership, to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around us, and sometimes we have to do our second favourite thing so the person we care about can do their favourite thing.
— Being single and being in a relationship are different gears.
In theory it shouldn’t be difficult to change for this person because you love them, or at least like them, and want to do everything you can to make it work. It’s at least something you need to be cognitive of so you don’t push away this person you care about with your “I don’t give a fuck about anything” attitude.
Does the longer you stay single mean your chances of finding the right relationship will continue to decrease?
You see this is the very problem you run into when you’re been a single for too long.
The hard truth is that you need to change certain things about your behaviour when you’re in a committed relationship with someone.
For a guy who hasn’t shifted into the relationship gear for a while, it’s going to potentially be a rocky transition.
Before he just lived his life for himself, and now he’s learning, again, what it’s like to share your life with another human being. Relationships are extremely difficult because we have to work our way through the world, knowing that someone cares so deeply about everything we do, that our pain becomes theirs, that our happiness is their happiness, and someone who’s heart could be shattered if we betray them.
– Comedian Bill Burr has a famous line in one of his stand-ups; “There’s a critical point when you’ve stayed single for too long, that your brain switches from ‘No, don’t say that’ to ‘Eh, fuck it. You know that life doesn’t end if this relationship ends.
Say it, see what happens.” What he was saying is that when you go a long time without being in a relationship, you can take a few more chances. So why not push the boundaries in your relationship and see what you can get away with?
So when this guy eventually does find his next relationship, what are some of his behavioural tendencies from when he was single that may carry over and put a strain on his new relationship? He may flirt more than is considered appropriate for a taken man.